Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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