My hand turned me down
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
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