everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
