): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
