Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
