i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
