I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
