don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
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