"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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