Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
Randomize
