apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Randomize