im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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