i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
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