i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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