It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize