dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
