Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
