Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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