I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
