You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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