why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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