The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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