the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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