I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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