idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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