I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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