ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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