the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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