I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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