Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
