I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
