SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
