The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Randomize
