He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
