i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
