i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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