i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize