Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
