It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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