u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
