I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
Randomize
