The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
