toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
