PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
