wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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