I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
