once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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