I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
