Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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