To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
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