Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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