R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
