It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize