Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
