I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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