Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
