i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
