we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
