she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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