I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize
