Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
