So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
