just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
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